How to identify a toxic relationship

photo by liza summer via pexels

While no relationship is perfect, it is important to recognize the signs of an unhealthy relationship and know how to change or end it. All relationships are different and everyone has days where they feel irritable, short-tempered, or exhausted, which is understandable that those feelings sometimes spill over into their relationships. It is important to know if a relationship is toxic and abusive.

A toxic relationship makes you feel unsupported, misunderstood, demeaned, or attacked. A relationship is harmful when your well-being is threatened in some way and you feel a negative impact emotionally, psychologically, and physically.

An abusive relationship is a relationship where one person exerts power and control over the other in a negative way. Abuse can be physical, emotional, verbal, financial, or any other type of behavior that keeps one person under the control of another.

Any relationship that makes you feel worse rather than better can become toxic or abusive over time. Toxic relationships can exist in just about any form, including friends, family members, co-workers, and intimate partners. 

Not all toxic relationships are abusive; however, ALL abusive relationships are considered toxic.

In a toxic relationship, there is usually a lack of respect and a violation of boundaries. Sometimes, this behavior occurs without the person realizing they're doing it. But, if this kind of behavior is consistently repeated with the active intent to harm the other person, the relationship could be considered abusive.

Relationships that involve physical or verbal abuse are classified as toxic. But there are other, more subtle, signs of a toxic relationship, including statements that make you feel devalued or depleted, disrespect, negative impact on your self-esteem, feeling misunderstood or unsupported, walking on eggshells around this person, and/or always being blamed for their actions or behaviors. In this relationship, you do not feel you can get what you need to feel complete, happy, or valued.

Only you can tell if the bad outweighs the good in a relationship. But if someone consistently threatens your well-being by what they're saying, doing, or not doing, it's likely a toxic relationship.

It is important to remind yourself that you deserve to have a relationship where you feel healthy, supported, and happy. You deserve to have relationships with people who support you and your interests.

If you suspect that you may be involved in an unhealthy relationship, spend some time considering the impact it has on your life, whether these issues can be fixed, and whether it might be time to end the relationship. 

If you or a loved one is experiencing abuse of any kind, there are resources that can help.

Monretta Vega

Monretta, born in Fort Worth, Texas, is the owner of Huntsville Psychotherapy and Counseling Services and Envisionary Counseling, LLC, and holds a Doctorate in Business Consulting, a Master's in Counseling, and certifications as a Hypnotherapist and Life Coach. Passionate about mental health, she helps clients achieve their life goals and promotes mental health awareness in the community.

IG: monretta_is_mo