Lesson Learned: You Thought You Were Ready to Date Again
Photo by William Fortunato via Pexels
Dear Self,
Well, girl, you got back in the saddle of dating and thought you were ready after taking some time to heal from previous relationships. You found yourself longing for emotional connection and companionship. You thought you had done the necessary work with all the self-reflection and had growth. You had a new confidence. So, out in the world of dating, you went.
You did meet someone. You shared common interests and great conversations, and the chemistry was great. You allowed yourself to be vulnerable and open to love again. However, those beautiful things called "red flags" that, for some reason, you like to ignore started to appear. The frequent messages became infrequent, consistency diminished, he started ghosting you, and plans were canceled or rescheduled often. You knew the signs. You've seen them before. Despite the red flags, you convinced yourself it was a phase, or maybe he just had a busy schedule. Girl BYE! You became emotionally invested in an emotionally unavailable man, hoping things would improve with time. You tried to prove and convince this man of your worth and how amazing you are. But why?
One day, your fear was realized, and you discovered he was back with his Ex. The betrayal, the heartbreak, was overwhelming. You asked yourself why you? And why again? All the progress you made in rebuilding yourself, your trust, being vulnerable, and opening your heart had been instantly shattered. You question your judgment and your worth. Never do that again!
The pain was intense, but in the words of Alicia Keys, "Yes, I was burned, but I call it a lesson learned." The experience taught you about yourself. First, don't beat yourself up. You learned the importance of trusting that inner voice to recognize the red flags and act on them. If you're honest with yourself, you ignored the red flags because you wanted the relationship to work so badly. Healing takes time, and you can't rush into a new relationship without fully processing past experiences, as it can leave you vulnerable to further heartbreak. Healing is hard! It never ends. It's a journey that involves growth, and you never stop growing.
Now, girl, take a moment to sit in your feelings and process. Don't say you will never date or love again because you will. You will move forward at your own pace. Start focusing on yourself again and your self-care. Surround yourself with supportive family and friends. Schedule the therapy appointment! Embrace your vulnerability and understand that it's not a weakness but a strength. Opening yourself up to love will hold its challenges. Heartbreak is part of life but does not define your worth or ability to love. You learn from your experiences. Take the time to continue to heal and emerge stronger and wiser as you await future possibilities. Because they will come.
Remember, baby girl, you're not everyone's cup of tea because you're champagne.
Love, Tiff
'Still believing in love"
Tiffany Green
Tiffany Green - a true fashion expert, advocate, and philanthropist. With a background in clinical psychology and over a decade of therapy experience, Tiffany is a true leader in her field. As a Board Member and Director of Partnerships for a nonprofit mental health agency, she's making a real difference in the lives of others. And let's not forget her inspiring community service project, 'Wrapped in Love,' which supports cancer patients in Madison County. Tiffany's passion for motivational speaking is contagious - she empowers and inspires others to pursue their dreams with compassion and confidence.
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