THE IMPORTANCE OF PLAYFULNESS IN MARRIAGE: KEEPING THE SPARK ALIVE
Photo by Sandro Crepulja
Marriage starts out full of bliss, newness, and excitement. Planning your wedding and the life you want to have together afterwards full of new things and experiences. As the mundane tasks, responsibilities, and obligations start to weigh on you, it can create stress and take away that bliss that once was there. Although many of us look for the same qualities in our lifelong partner such as loyalty, honesty, integrity, a strong work ethic, etc… one quality can be overlooked: playfulness.
When I first met my husband 11 years ago, his sense of humor and playful personality truly made me feel like it was love at first sight. As we’ve grown older, had kids and have gone through the highs and lows of life, we’ve seemed to keep that humor and playfulness in our marriage throughout the years. Here are some of the ways that we do that:
1.Not taking each other too seriously.
My husband and I are the first ones to make fun of each other. We never take it seriously (it’s always done respectfully!) and find comfort in knowing that we can be ourselves. Whether it’s talking trash about each other's football teams or being competitive at bowling, we always have a good laugh.
2. Doing new things together.
Being a young married couple and living in 4 different states together made this tip a part of everyday life for us. But now that we’ve been here in Huntsville for several years, we continue to try new things either together or as a family. One of our favorite things has been bowling, hockey games, visiting water parks, and helicopter tours when the opportunity arises. You can even keep it simple with a new card or board game at home and trying a new recipe for dinner! Anything that is new.
3. LAUGH MORE!
Laughter releases endorphins, our body’s natural happy chemical. This can not only make you feel happier but it can help your emotional and physical connection as a couple. These endorphins are also a great way to strengthen that bond of physical intimacy too so don’t be afraid to incorporate playfulness into your romantic encounters. Watch a comedian together instead of a movie or have a night out at a comedy club so not only will you have a night of laughter with your spouse, but you can also do something new together! We personally are big fans of Kevin Hart.
4. Having time to ourselves.
No, really. Distance makes the heart grow fonder! And for me, it makes me feel more carefree and playful to have that time to recharge and destress. Nobody feels playful when they’re stressed! So if you are not able to get into that playful mood as quickly with your partner, it may be time for an adult time out to recharge your batteries so you can get back to your spouse with that playful attitude. Whether that is spending time with friends, separately, or doing some self care alone like going to the gym or taking a long bath.
5. Bring up the playful times.
Memories are the best place to start because it will bring you back to those early times of playfulness. I love to bring up our first date together because my sweet husband was trying to hard to be a gentleman and impress me during dinner. Still, he decided that broccoli and cheddar soup would be a great dish to start with even though it ended up with strings of cheese constantly connecting his mouth to the bowl. I couldn’t stop laughing and while I know he was embarrassed, he laughed along and I knew then that he was not too proud to ever laugh at himself over the little things.
Incorporating playfulness into your marriage doesn’t require grand gestures or elaborate plans. It’s about embracing the simple joys of life and finding moments of connection and laughter amidst the chaos of everyday life. Whether it’s sharing inside jokes, engaging in playful competition, or simply cuddling on the couch and watching a funny video, the key is to (try) to approach each day with a sense of openness and spontaneity.
As with any aspect of marriage, cultivating playfulness requires effort and intentionality. It’s about prioritizing your relationship and making time for shared experiences that bring you closer together. By growing and evolving your playful spirit and embracing the joy of being with your spouse, you can create a marriage that is enduring and truly fulfilling. So, let go of inhibitions, embrace your inner child, and rediscover the magic of playfulness in your marriage. After all, as the saying goes, couples who play together, stay together.
Courtney Joy Willoughby
Courtney Joy Willoughby is a California native, wife to an Army Veteran, and a mom of two. She works with both real estate professionals and small business owners by providing them with marketing services to amplify their business presence, grow, meet their goals, and impact the community around them and strives to be an encouraging force for collaboration between entrepreneurs. When she's not making marketing magic happen, you can find Courtney near the pool in the summer, at a Huntsville havoc game, or coaching her daughter’s cheer squad.
IG: @mavemarketing or @thecourtneyconfession